If I had to be an animal for one week, this is how I’d actually want it to happen. I’m taking some of my inspiration from my childhood obsession with Animorphs.
Those books really shaped how I think about turning into animals trope. Becoming an animal means realizing that the creature you turn into is a complex being with their own agency.
In the series, the protagonists can morph into anything they touch, but since this is just a one-week deal with only one choice, I have to be practical.
Ruling Out the Other Animals
At first, you might think I’d be looking at a few cool options, but when you really think about it, most of them are bad ideas:
- Bugs: I’d absolutely avoid being a bug. In the books, the protagonists morph into bugs they almost die by accident. One step, one windshield, or one bird, and you’re done.
- An Octopus: They are incredibly smart, but then you’re stuck in the water. Not exactly practical for a week of exploration.
- Fast Mammals (like a Cat): A cat sounds easy, but you’re stuck on the ground dealing with territorial strays and cars.
- Eagles or Pigeons: Flying is the dream, but pigeons are hated, and eagles are too high-profile.
So, my choice would definitely be a Raven. They are wild, they can fly, they are insanely smart, and they interact with humans all the time. Plus, I like shiny things and collecting stuff, so it just fits.
Becoming the Raven
Actually transforming according to Animorph rules would probably feel pretty wild and a bit terrifying.
First, your skin would start itching like crazy as hard, hollow feather shafts push their way out. Your jaw would harden and stretch into a heavy black beak, and you’d feel your collarbones fuse together to support massive new wing muscles.
But the weirdest part would be the senses. Your eyes would slide to the sides of your head, giving you this massive, almost panoramic view of the world, and suddenly you can see ultraviolet light. As your fingers disappear, you’d start feeling the actual air pressure and wind currents directly through your feathers. The books loves to describe this type of body horror.
My One-Week Survival Plan: The “Adopt-a-Human” Strategy
Here is the realistic problem: a week is not enough time to learn how to survive as a wild animal. I don’t care how easy the kids make it by relying on the animal instinct. It’s too risky. I could lose myself to the animal instinct and forget to be human. My human brain says, I don’t know how to hunt, and I need protection from predators. My entire strategy would revolve around finding a human to take care of me.
- Day 1: Finding a Target
- My first day would be spent scouting for a human to adopt. I’d specifically look for someone living in a wealthy neighborhood. They have the money to buy good food (like raw meats and nuts) and probably have a secure patio or garden where I’d be safe from stray cats.
- Days 2–3: Proving I’m Not a Regular Bird
- Once I find them, I have to show off some human intelligence so they get attached. I’d start doing things a normal bird wouldn’t do, like solving basic puzzle toys, sorting objects by color, or tapping out specific rhythms. I’d also try to mimic a weird “Raven name” for myself so they feel like they’re talking to a little human in a bird suit.
- Days 4–6: Living the Good Life
- By now, they should be fully invested in their genius new pet. To keep the rent free, I’d bring them small, shiny things I found outside, like keys, coins, and jewelry as “gifts,” but really they are bribes to keep feeding me. In return, I get safe shelter and free food without having to risk my life in the wild.
- Day 7: The Exit
- On the last day, before the week is up and I turn back into a human, I’d sneak out of their house or yard, fly to a quiet, private spot, and demorph back into myself.
It’s the perfect plan. I get to experience flight, spy on people, collect shiny things, and get pampered, all while staying completely safe.
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